• Boy: Hi
  • Girl: I have a boyfriend
  • Boy: I said hi not suck my dick
When I’m married, I never want to fight in front of my kids because I know I hated seeing that shit.

(Source: jdgx)

My girlfriend invited me to her house. I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy and whispered in my ear, “I have feelings for you, shall we have sex?”, I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car. I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: “You’ve won my trust”……. Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car.

melissaimani:

 

LMAO

ludacrisp:

you is weird

you is ugly

and you is boring